Karen’s Place

You’ll have to forgive me; I’ve had a really bad couple of days. I’ll be using this forum to vent a little. After all, this is my blog and my prerogative.

Why is it that people have no problem using you as a sounding board-over and over and over again, but the first opportunity you need for a shoulder and all of a sudden they are unavailable? Is this selfishness? Is it uncomforableness? Is it merely not realizing a shoulder is needed? I don’t know…

I’ve been told multiple times how good of a listener I am. Okay, I am. I admit it. I’m interested in what people have to say. However, there are times when I really need to talk, or vent or have a problem and I need to talk to someone. I’ve found it increasingly difficult to find someone to open up to. Someone who returns the amount of interest I show in them. Someone who allows me to talk for longer than 5 minutes about myself without interrupting and pulling the conversation back to them. Oh sure, if I weren’t discussing a deep issue and just having friendly conversation I’d be allowed to talk all night, but as soon as it turns toward the negative and suddenly the person either has to go, or the discussion gets turned back to them. How did this happen? Is it my own fault for internalizing my problems for most of my life? Is it my fault for not speaking up sooner? Is it my fault for surrounding myself with these types of people? Do these people even realize they’re doing it?

Of course these are rhetorical questions. Just please, if you recognize yourself as one of those that leans on someone around you as a sounding board. Take the time to ask them how they’re doing. Then when they answer, actually listen to their answer! Let them know you’re listening. You’re friendship will be stronger for it.